Such as it is with family. So, what happens when a family member is critical of you? What goes through your mind? S/he wants the best for me… s/he is doing it for my own good… S/he loves me and wants me to change, adjust, alter my actions, my habits, my behavior… or s/he is upset and doesn’t know that I am a handy target… S/he will change his/her mind once s/he calms down and comes back to his/her senses…S/he will apologize, say that s/he’s sorry and will ask for my forgiveness… What if s/he doesn’t do that? Do I challenge him/her, and ask for a change in his/her heart? Or do I just ignore it, and let time heal the wound?
What is the risk I take by either reacting or ignoring the criticism? Surely, if I counter it with antagonism or resentment, it will impair our relationship…or will it? Some people enjoy being antagonistic and playful especially with family members… You might look at that possibility, before deciding to react. Regardless, what is my best choice? Again, you might consider the default decision, that is, all criticism is positive, and is engendered by a honest, healthy desire to offer an opinion which might bring more happiness, joy, and pleasure to my life. So, would it be best to be grateful for that? So, a genuine acknowledgment with a sincere, “Thank you” could resolve the minor conflict…
As a family member, we have a desire to love each other unconditionally, regardless of whatever we do or say to each other… Frankly, we are being tested in the spiritual universe to deliver words, emotions, thoughts, ideas, and actions in an unconditionally loving manner. We certainly don’t want to cause barriers between us. Why would we do that?
One of the greatest traps in navigating through treacherous waters of a relationship is having our attention primarily on ourselves, justifying our thoughts, and actions in spite of anyone else. Unknowingly, we may do or say something to someone we love which has less to do with them, than with ourselves, and results in a negative moment in time… which we would normally wish we could go back in time and change it, and would apologize readily, as long as we could abort the default position of defending and justifying ourselves, and be heartfelt and sincere is our apology.
The basic fundamental here, is that your family member loves you and if they are critical of you, the best gift you can give them is your gratitude for their love, and your love which you continue to support them with, by silently forgiving them without expressing it, but rather having joy in your relationship with them. It all depends upon what you want out of life, whether you want to be right all the time, or whether you want to love and be loved all the time. It’s your choice.
What is the risk I take by either reacting or ignoring the criticism? Surely, if I counter it with antagonism or resentment, it will impair our relationship…or will it? Some people enjoy being antagonistic and playful especially with family members… You might look at that possibility, before deciding to react. Regardless, what is my best choice? Again, you might consider the default decision, that is, all criticism is positive, and is engendered by a honest, healthy desire to offer an opinion which might bring more happiness, joy, and pleasure to my life. So, would it be best to be grateful for that? So, a genuine acknowledgment with a sincere, “Thank you” could resolve the minor conflict…
As a family member, we have a desire to love each other unconditionally, regardless of whatever we do or say to each other… Frankly, we are being tested in the spiritual universe to deliver words, emotions, thoughts, ideas, and actions in an unconditionally loving manner. We certainly don’t want to cause barriers between us. Why would we do that?
One of the greatest traps in navigating through treacherous waters of a relationship is having our attention primarily on ourselves, justifying our thoughts, and actions in spite of anyone else. Unknowingly, we may do or say something to someone we love which has less to do with them, than with ourselves, and results in a negative moment in time… which we would normally wish we could go back in time and change it, and would apologize readily, as long as we could abort the default position of defending and justifying ourselves, and be heartfelt and sincere is our apology.
The basic fundamental here, is that your family member loves you and if they are critical of you, the best gift you can give them is your gratitude for their love, and your love which you continue to support them with, by silently forgiving them without expressing it, but rather having joy in your relationship with them. It all depends upon what you want out of life, whether you want to be right all the time, or whether you want to love and be loved all the time. It’s your choice.
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